my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
