when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
