omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize