I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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