you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I want her autograph on my taint
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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