Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
