He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize