Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
