Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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