pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was like eating out sand paper
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
