omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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