All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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