So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
