What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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