in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
