So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
