Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
