A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
