The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
