Don't make out with my wife yet
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
