im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
