Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize