hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
