I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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