i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
