i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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