I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
