yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My vagina is officially offended.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
