Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
