Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
