sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
