he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
