physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
