cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
