I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize