Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
vagina is talking i cant
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
