I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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