Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
