I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
