oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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