you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He felt like a one man threesome
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
