shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
