I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize