need another drink. this is the easiest way
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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