And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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