dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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