SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize