i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
