so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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