i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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