You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
