I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
