we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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