It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm at about main and main street
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
