kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
