he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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