Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
