bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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