I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Only a mothe r could love this liver
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
