quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So many bounce houses so little time
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize